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Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
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I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
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I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Attention to health is life\'s greatest hindrance.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don\'t need to be done.
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Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
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If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
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Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
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The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
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There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
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Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
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Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
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A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
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Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
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Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
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Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don\'t think.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
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Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, \'cause if they couldn\'t, they\'d have to wake up to the fact that life\'s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can\'t seem to keep up is they\'re a bunch of misfits and losers.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
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I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
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For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
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... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
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Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
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Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
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Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: \'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
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The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
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If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
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Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
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The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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Humor is just another defense against the universe.
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The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
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Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
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A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
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To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
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If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
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In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
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The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
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As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
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Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
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When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
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The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
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Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
Everybody\'s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there\'s a really easy way: stop participating in it.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Barab?si\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it\'s because they\'re such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
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Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
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I don\'t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/15/(Sun) 22:25
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